Navigating Social Events with Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness, and Disabilities

November 8, 2024

By Duchess x Opulent Abilities  

Social events can be thrilling or intimidating - or a bit of both - when you live with a disability, chronic pain, chronic illness, or are neurodivergent. You might wonder how you’ll navigate the bustling room, manage symptoms on the fly, and still make it home in one piece! But being prepared with some simple, realistic, and perhaps quirky strategies -  it can be possible to join in on the fun in ways that respect your needs.

Let’s dive into tips that make events not just manageable, but enjoyable. Think of it as your social event "playbook," complete with everything you need to show up and thrive. 

1. Pack Your Essentials

Think of this as your survival kit—but make it chic. Here’s what to consider:

   - Mobility Aids that Work for You: If a cane, walker, or wheelchair is part of your routine, choose the one that best suits the event. There’s no shame in swapping out for a more lightweight, travel-friendly option if it helps conserve energy.

   - Medications & Medical Supplies: Bring extra meds, inhalers, or any supplies you might need (hello, syringes and insulin). Organize them in a small, stylish pouch that’s easy to carry.

   - Weighted Blanket/Scarf: If grounding yourself is helpful, a small, weighted scarf or shoulder wrap can keep you steady without weighing you down.

   - Portable Stool: If standing is tough, consider a foldable, portable stool. These are often lightweight and perfect for taking a break when needed. 

   Pro Tip: Customize based on the event—formal dinner, wedding, or outdoor picnic. Your comfort kit can be as compact or elaborate as you need!

2. Prep for Physical Access & Energy Management 

Let’s talk logistics: sometimes the difference between a fun night and one that’s too much is in the planning.

   - Accessible Parking or Drop-Off Zone: Research parking options ahead of time, and see if there are accessible spots nearby. Knowing where to park or be dropped off reduces stress and energy drain.

   - Wheelchair or Accessibility Requests: If you’ll need special seating or space for a wheelchair, you may want to call ahead to request this. Most venues are willing to accommodate, especially if you give them a heads-up.

   - Rest Zones: Some events offer rest zones for guests who need a quiet space. For example, The Walt Disney World website has list of specific areas around their parks that are considered “typically less busy,” and nice quiet(er) spots to rest and to prevent or help with sensory overload. Spaces like these are perfect for catching your breath, managing any symptoms, or just taking a sensory break.

   - Short Breaks, Big Difference: Have a plan to sneak away for five to ten minutes to recharge - whether it’s just for some quiet, to take your meds, or do some light stretching.

   Reminder: If pacing yourself is the name of the game, plan your time and energy accordingly. With some preparation, you can balance excitement with ease.

3. Your Sensory Survival Kit

Social settings can come with sensory overload, which can be intense for those who deal with chronic illness, disabilities, chronic pain, or are neurodivergent. Here are a few key things I have found helpful to make any space more manageable:

   - Noise-Canceling Earplugs or Headphones: I always have these on hand to tune out background noise when it gets overwhelming. Whether it’s loud music or chatter, creating a little personal bubble can be very grounding. I have my favorites linked on our Product Recommendation page.

   - Fidget Tools: Similarly, I always have these on hand as well- wether it’s a stress ball, fidget ring, or small sensory tool can give your hands something to do, I find this often helps in high-stimulus environments. I also have a few of my favorites linked on our Product Recommendation page.

   - Screen Dimmers and Sunglasses: If bright lights or screens trigger symptoms, consider tinted glasses or a screen dimmer for your phone. It’s amazing how much less intense things feel with a little filter. Personally, my prescription glasses are blue light blocking, which I find helpful in bright spaces, even if I’m not looking at a screen. And if all else fails, I will shamelessly put on my sunglasses indoors if it’s simply too bright. Who knows, you may start something of a trend and others may feel empowered to join you! 😎😎😎

   - Hydration, Hydration, Hydration: I always bring a water bottle, especially because dehydration can worsens my symptoms. Plus, a sip of water can often help me pause and take a breath.

   Quick Tip: If the event has overwhelming lights or noise, I try to scout out any quiet spots and go recharge for a few minutes.

4. Social Strategies: Energy-Saving Connections & Conversations 

Connecting with others is why you’re at the event, right? Here’s some ideas to enjoy it without exhausting yourself:

   - Conversation Cheat Sheet: I'm not the biggest fan of small talk myself, so I like to have a few go-to topics or phrases at the ready for quick, meaningful connections. On the other hand, it’s also perfectly okay to keep conversations short and sweet if long chats drain you. 

   - Energy-Saving Socializing: If standing is hard, find a cozy seat and invite people to come to you. This way you can engage without having to wander around or stand for too long.

   - Choose Your Focus: Rather than aiming to socialize with everyone, perhaps pick a few people to connect with and focus on quality over quantity.

   - Body Language Saves the Day: Sometimes, a friendly smile or wave goes a long way without draining your energy with full-on conversation. It’s all about balance! 

 Remember: It’s perfectly okay if you’re not up for non-stop mingling! Think of your energy as a precious resource - spend it wisely, keep a bit in reserve, and don’t hesitate to recharge whenever you need.

5.  The Early Exit Strategy 🚪

This tip is gold. Knowing you can leave whenever you need gives you the ultimate freedom.

   - Park Near the Exit: We’ve all been to events where getting out of the parking lot feels like an escape room challenge. Park close to an exit if possible so you can leave without a hassle.

   - Code Word: If you are with someone, perhaps agree ahead of time on a cue or a fun “escape word.” It could be anything from “cauliflower” to “disco ball”—whatever makes you smile and signals that you are ready and wanting to leave.

   - Let the Host Know: Depending on the host/situation- sometimes I am very upfront and let the host know right away when accepting the invitation that I may not be able to stay for long. Other times I will let them know upon arriving at the event. Letting the host know you might head out early due to health needs can often avoid any hurt feelings, and can make it easier to exit when you’re ready.

   Pro Tip: Sometimes just knowing that you can leave whenever makes the experience more relaxing. The power is in your hands!

6. Post-Event Recovery Ritual 🛌

You’ve made it through the event, now it’s time for some well-deserved me-time. Prepare for the “after-party” that’s all about you:

   - Hydrate and Stretch: If you’ve been on your feet or using mobility aids, gentle stretching and lots of water can help you recover faster. You know, people are always asking if I have tried yoga... Wink Wink 😜 (IYKYK)

   - Use Cold/Heat Therapy: If your pain tends to flare after a busy day, prepare a heating pad or ice pack and treat yourself to some recovery time. Raise your hand, if like me you believe that poetry worthy of Shakespeare could be written about heating pads. 🤭 (Raises hand.)

   - Jot Down Any High Points: Reflect on what went well. Maybe you enjoyed a conversation, danced a little, or just survived the night with humor. These small wins are worth celebrating.

   Remember: You do not have to feel “guilty” about needing recovery time. It’s a sign that you enjoyed yourself and can now enjoy some downtime.

7. Humor + Self-Compassion = Your Social Event Superpowers 

When things go a little sideways, humor can be your best friend. Embracing those unexpected moments with a smile or a witty comeback can lighten the mood and keep things fun.

   - Memory Lapses: Forgot someone’s name again? Flash them a big grin and tell them you’re just too fabulous to remember it all. 

   - Timing Out: If fatigue hits and it’s time to leave early, playfully say, “The next part of my evening involves some quality time with my bed - it’s just too comfortable to resist.” Or, “I’d love to stay, but my blanket is calling, and you know how persuasive it can be.”

   - Mobility Mix-Ups: Accidentally bump into someone while using a mobility aid? Laugh it off with, “Oops, my wheels have a mind of their own today - must be all the excitement!”

   - Taking a Breather: Need a moment to recharge? Tell your friends you’re “off to meet some fresh air for a quick chat” or perhaps, “BRB, just recharging my fabulousness!”

   - Pain Level Humor: If someone asks how you’re feeling, you might say, “Oh, I’m managing! Just a little more sparkle needed than usual.” Or, “Pain’s here as my uninvited plus-one, but I’ve got this!”

Pro tip: Light-hearted responses show self-compassion and add a touch of humor to tricky situations, helping you enjoy the event in a way that feels authentic and empowering. 

In Conclusion:

Attending social events with chronic illness or disabilities is more than just about showing up - it’s an empowering act of self-celebration. With these tips, you’re not simply going to an event; you’re redefining what it means to participate and have fun on your terms. Whether you are there for just a few minutes or stay the whole time, each moment is a reminder of your resilience and strength. So when you choose to accept an invitation - go, enjoy, and own the event in a way that uplifts and energizes you - because when you show up authentically, that’s the real celebration! ✨